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What 65 Years of Living Have Taught Me

Brett Miller PhD
May 21, 2024 11:15 AM
Josh, thank you. There is great power in music, especially sacred music. And, Ammon, thanks for your words about having faith in yourself. I think, right now, that’s what I need.

 One of the foundations of my testimony is how the Lord works through His chosen Prophets. I learned years ago the importance of following the example and counsel of our Prophet. President Nelson’s recent book, Heart of the Matter, is subtitled “What 100 Years of Living Have Taught Me.” Though I am much younger than the Prophet, I would like to share with you today some of the lessons that I have learned in my life. As in his book, the lessons make up the chapters of my life.

 I was born in Portland, Oregon and my family loved going to the beach. In this picture I am the child in the middle and about 4 years old. As little children we would get new toys to play with at the beach each year. One time I got a plastic boat to play with. We would build sandcastles, with moats and fill them with water, but the water drained down too fast for my little boat. So, I went to play in the waves. Suddenly, I lost the grip on my new boat, and it was being carried out to sea. I called to it, but to no avail. I waived at it to come back, but it slowly floated too far to reach. When I finally told my parents, it was too late, and I lost my little boat.

 When Jesus ministered on earth, there once came to him the ruler of a synagogue. As I read the New Testament, there didn’t seem to be many rulers who believed in Jesus. But when this man’s young daughter was so sick that they were afraid she would die, he went to ask Jesus for help. We read: “And, behold, there cometh one of the rulers of the synagogue, Jairus by name; and when he saw him, he fell at his feet, And besought him greatly, saying, My little daughter lieth at the point of death: I pray thee, come and lay thy hands on her, that she may be healed; and she shall live” (Mark 5:22–23). Jairus would have heard all about the healings Jesus had been doing. By humbling himself to ask for help, he found that help was available.

 President Nelson has taught: “Ask [Heavenly Father] to enlighten your mind and send you the help you need” (“Overcome the World and Find Rest,” General Conference, October 2022). Elder Holland taught: “When doubt or difficulty come, do not be afraid to ask for help” (“Lord, I Believe,” General Conference, April 2013). We must learn to ask for help when we need it. Too often we rely on our own understanding or strength. But God is happy to help us when it is right, and He has placed many wonderful people around us who are willing to help us too. For me, that day at the beach, my dad would have helped me if I had only gone to him soon enough.

 I grew up in a home with a father who was a convert and a mother who grew up in an inactive part-member home. But together they wanted to raise our family in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In this picture I am about 8 years old. One Sunday morning I told my dad that I did not want to go to Church. I don’t remember why I didn’t want to go to Church that day, nor do I remember much about the conversation, other than my dad’s final decree: “You can go to Church happy, or you can go to Church sad.”

 This was my first memorable lesson about Agency. My dad was a good man, and he knew that going to Church was important. I know that he wanted me to learn this for myself. I probably didn’t appreciate it at that time, but I have come to love going to Church. It is a place I feel a sense of belonging. And it is the place to which I must come to partake of the sacred emblems of the Sacrament. It is one of the places I come to feel the closeness to my Savior. Plus, I get to visit with fellow Ward members, and sing the songs of Zion.

 Being active in Church gives me opportunities to do good things: like ministering visits to other members and serving in Church callings. I also go because I need to show the Lord that I love Him, and that I am on His side.

 When my father said to me that one Sunday morning: “You can go to Church happy, or you can go to Church sad,” I may have gone to church a little sad, and then enjoyed it when I got there. This, though, was a great lesson about Agency. My father helped me see that I need to look more seriously at all the choices available to me. I only saw going to Church and not going to Church. He opened my eyes to see that there were other possibilities. I have tried to remember this lesson when making other decisions throughout my life: Am I seeing all the possibilities? What are the potential results of each choice? Only then can I make the best decisions.

 Last October, President Nelson said: “Mortality is a master class in learning to choose the things of greatest eternal import. Far too many people live as though this life is all there is.

 However, your choices today will determine three things: where you will live throughout all eternity, the kind of body with which you will be resurrected, and those with whom you will live forever. So, think celestial” (“Think Celestial!,” General Conference, October 2023). I love President Nelson’s advice and I want to “think celestial” when I am considering all the alternatives when making choices.

 My grandparents on my father’s side lived in Portland, Oregon, and we had moved from there to Central Oregon. It was about a 3-hour drive to visit them, and we often went at Christmas to their house. In this picture I am about 9 years old, and my brother is a year older than me. You can guess which one is me. That Christmas my brother got a new 10-speed bicycle. I don’t remember what I got, except for being jealous for what he got. So, when he went outside to ride his new bike, I wanted a turn. Instead of letting me ride it by myself, he gave me a ride, me sitting on the bar between the seat and the handlebars. It wasn’t really the best place to ride, and it didn’t take long before we crashed. The front wheel of his new bike was now bent, and couldn’t be ridden the rest of the day.

 Sometimes we wish for things other people are getting from life and we are not satisfied with what we are getting. This jealousy can cause us to make foolish mistakes. Why couldn’t I just let my brother ride his new bicycle? Why did I feel I needed to have a turn on it so soon?

 The last of the Ten Commandments says: “Thou salt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, … nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s” (Exodus 20:17). The footnote for this verse says the word covet could mean “desire” or “take pleasure in.” The dictionary says in this instance it means: “To desire inordinately; or to desire that which it is unlawful to obtain or possess” (American Dictionary of the English Language, Daniel Webster, online edition). As a young boy, I probably could not have identified my problem with the bike as coveting, but that is what it was; an inordinate desire to have what was not mine. And because I could not, at that time, restrain my desires, I caused his bike to be broken. My brother felt bad, and I felt bad. Elder Holland once said: “Most ‘thou shalt not’ commandments are to keep us from hurting others, but I am convinced the commandment to not covet is meant to keep us from hurting ourselves” (“The Other Prodigal,” General Conference, April 2002).

 Alma told his son Shiblon to “bridle all [his] passions” (Alma 38:12). The footnote for bridle refers to the Topical Guide topic of “Self-Mastery.” I needed more self-mastery to bridle my passionate desire to use what was not mine. Ultimately, Jesus said: “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life does not consist of the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15). The older I get the more clearly I see the greater value of being satisfied with what I have, and the importance of relationships over possessions.

 When I was about 13 years old, my father bought a small farm which came with cows and horses. We had been city folk up to that time. I think he felt it would be a way to help us learn to work and be responsible. In this picture you see my sister and me with some of the cows. We were feeding them in the winter months. I didn’t necessarily enjoy taking care of the cows, but I did like learning how to care for and ride the horses.

 After Nephi had separated from his brothers, he said: “And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cause my people to be industrious, and to labor with their hands” … “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5: 17, 27). There is something about honest labor and a sense of happiness. King Benjamin told his people: “And even I, myself, have labored with mine own hands that I might serve you, and that ye should not be laden with taxes” (Mosiah 2:14).

 Joseph Smith was taught the value of work. He wrote: “As my father’s worldly circumstances were very limited, we were under the necessity of laboring with our hands, hiring out by day’s work and otherwise, as we could get opportunity. Sometimes we were at home, and sometimes abroad, and by continuous labor were enabled to get a comfortable maintenance” (Joseph Smith– History 1:55).

 We know that Jesus grew up in the home of a carpenter and was referred to as a carpenter Himself (see Mark 6:3). And in His ministry who can deny that Jesus worked and labored diligently. Learning to work, including doing the Lord’s work, is a valuable lesson for us all.

When I was a Boy Scout, 12 to 14 years old, I had a great Scoutmaster. Every month we hiked and camped in the Cascade Mountains of Central Oregon. They are beautiful mountains, snow-capped from winter snows almost all year long. Our Scoutmaster worked for the Forest Service, so he always knew great places to take us. We learned skills in camping, hiking, fishing, safety, pioneering, survival, camaraderie, and more.

 We camped in every season of the year. In the Spring camping was often by a site with activities nearby. In the summer camping included longer hikes. In the Fall camping had the beauty and color of the trees. In the Winter camping included survival in the snow. It was a lot of fun as we hiked, and camped, and grew up from young boys to young men.

 Of all the lessons I learned from my Scoutmaster, the one that stays with me today is: “Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.” He taught us this by word and deed. We had to learn what to bring, and not bring, for each outing. When we didn’t bring a coat, we would get cold. When we didn’t wear good shoes, we would get blisters. When we didn’t bring a tarp, we would get wet. Our Scoutmaster taught us to plan for the worst in what we would bring but to hope that we did not use it all because conditions turned out good.

 In the Doctrine and Covenants we read: “… if ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (38:30). In the dedicatory prayer of the Kirtland, Ohio Temple, as recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: “… and be organized according to thy laws and be prepared to obtain every needful thing” (109:15). As we prepare properly, blessings await us, which include faith instead of fear, and having all that we need.

 In a letter to the Corinthian Saints, Paul said: “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). Our Heavenly Father is a Preparer. He knows what the future will bring, so He prepares ahead of time. Think for a moment how He prepared for the loss of the 116 manuscript pages of the Book of Mormon by having Nephi write on a second set of plates. Our Heavenly Father prepares for all contingencies. We must learn to do the same.

 When we were in high school, my brother and I sang in the choir.

 In this picture I am about 16 years old. We sang a variety of music styles and genres, including spiritual music. In a revelation to Emma Smith, she was given the assignment to put together our first hymn book. In that revelation the Lord said: “For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (Doctrine and Covenants 25:12). To Brigham Young the Lord said: “If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving” (Doctrine and Covenants 136: 28).

 In Church, music plays a big part in our worship. The preface to our hymn book contains a statement by the First Presidency which says: “Inspirational music is an essential part of our church meetings. The hymns invite the Spirit of the Lord, create a feeling of reverence, unify us as members, and provide a way for us to offer praises to the Lord.

It continues:

“Some of the greatest sermons are preached by the singing of hymns. Hymns move us to

repentance and good works, build testimony and faith, comfort the weary, console the mourning, and inspire us to endure to the end” (Hymns, 1985, p. ix).

 President Oaks once shared an experience of being at a regional conference in Brazil and how the music made him feel. He said: “Through the miracle of sacred music, the Spirit of the Lord descended upon us, and we were made ready for gospel instruction and worship” He added: “The singing of hymns is one of the best ways to put ourselves in tune with the Spirit of the Lord. I wonder if we are making enough use of this heaven-sent resource in our meetings, in our classes, and in our homes” (“Worship through Music,” General Conference, October 1994). Elder Oaks encouraged all members to sing the songs of Zion, even if they don’t sing well.

 It’s not about the quality of the talent, but the devotion of the heart. And that was the message the Lord said to Emma Smith; how it is pleasing to the Lord. I often wonder, as I see people not singing in Church, if they are not missing out on something important.

 When my brother and I were growing up we looked forward to becoming missionaries one day. In our home, it was never “if” we were going on a mission, but “when” we would be going on our missions. My brother served in Seoul, Korea; and I served in Rome, Italy. In this picture I had the opportunity to baptize a lady named Bonaria Cogotti, who was taught by the sister missionaries. Being a missionary is not easy, and learning another language is not easy. It meant leaving home, journeying to a new

place, working hard, being diligent, and praying constantly. But serving a mission, any type of mission, is doing something great. And doing it willingly pleases the Lord.

 In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord gave Joseph Smith a revelation which says: “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good, they shall in nowise lose their reward. But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned” (58:26–29), meaning stopped in his progress.

 The opportunity to serve a mission is a great thing to do. I can testify that though it is a lot of work, it is also most joyous. To teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ gives one an amazing sense of the truths we have been given. And to see someone enter the waters of baptism, and enter into a covenant relationship with God is no less than miraculous. I am so glad I wanted to go on a mission. The Lord sends us to people we can help, somewhere in the world, whether that is a proselyting or a service mission. And for those of you who don’t know yet, my wife and I have accepted a mission call starting in September; and we get to go back to Rome where I served as a young man. We are so excited for this experience, even though the assignment will challenge us. But we are going to try and do something great in the eyes of Heavenly Father.

 When I came home from my mission, I attended Brigham Young University in Provo. So were my three siblings. So all four of the Miller children were at BYU at the same time. We had a nice reunion before school started, and my brother and I climbed Mount Timpanogos. In this picture I am standing by the metal structure on top of the mountain—very humbly, as you can see.

 Mount Timpanogos is the second highest mountain in Utah’s Wasatch mountain range, so it is no small thing to climb to the top. And climbing “Timp” is one of Utah’s most popular hikes (Wikipedia: Mount Timpanogos). It is a 7 mile hike each way, but the 5, 270 feet increase in elevation is the hard part. That is a steep climb.

 My brother had made the hike before, and wanted me to have the experience. And I have always been amazed at the view from the top of a mountain. You can see so far in every direction. You literally feel “on top of the world.” It is a great feat to ‘conquer’ a mountain by climbing it.

 When I was hired to teach for Seminaries and Institutes of Religion, I had a bachelor degree in business. As a new teacher I decided it would be good to go back to school, and to learn more about teaching and learning. By then we had all six of our children. It would be a hard thing to go back to school. But with the support and encouragement of my wife, I completed both a master’s and a doctorate degree in education.

 Elder Stanley G. Ellis of the Seventy taught: “Looking back, I learned some of the best lessons during the hardest times—whether as a youth, on a mission, starting a new career, striving to magnify my callings, raising a large family, or struggling to be self-reliant. It seems clear that hard is good! … Hard makes us stronger, humbles us, and gives us a chance to prove ourselves. Our beloved handcart pioneers came to know God in their extremities.”

 He continues: “The hard things in our lives should come as no surprise. … Hard is part of the gospel plan. One of the purposes of life is for us to be proven (see Abraham 3:25)” (“Do We Trust Him? Hard Is Good,” General Conference, October 2017). We will all be asked to do hard things in life, but the Lord does not leave us to do them alone. He will help, and we are surrounded by others who will help us too.

 When I had my final interview with my mission President, he encouraged three things: 1) continue to pray and study as I had learned on my mission, 2) get a good education, and 3) find a wonderful girl and get married. Most returning missionaries probably receive similar advise. I imagine that we all have struggled with the first one, to keep our study and prayers like they were when we were on our mission. For number two, here we are at Ensign College trying to get an education. So for number three, I found I was embarking on a whole new adventure.

 When I arrived at BYU after my mission I was impressed with how big it was, and how many students there were. And then, when I went to my student Ward

Sacrament Meeting for the first time, I knew this was going to be a fun adventure: because half of the Ward were these lovely young ladies. I had never seen so many young adult girls in one place before. So, I began to do what was required: ask girls on dates! There were a couple of girls from back home, a few from my mission, some girls in my Ward, and some from my classes. But that first Sunday, I talked with the girl who taught our Sunday School class, and she was one of my first dates. Not long after, the Lord told me she is the one I should marry.

 That’s when I realized that I would have to plan a way to ask her. So, from that time forward, I began to do everything with her: we ate meals together, I walked her to class, etcetera, all the while trying to decide how to ask her to be married. Then the moment of opportunity arrived. She invited me to come to her house with her family for Halloween. Proposing on Halloween just sounded too good to pass up.

 She explained that on Halloween her family had a tradition of eating chili. So, my plan became this: I would write a proposal message in a bowl, she would begin eating the chili, and find the message and be surprised. And that is exactly what happened. When she started seeing the written message, she began pushing the chili around the bowl, until she found a particular word: “spouse.” Right then, she jumped up and went into the kitchen, which was visible from where we were sitting, she dumped out the chili, and began to read the proposal poem. Then she ran out of the kitchen calling for her mom.

 Eventually, her mother returned and motioned to me. And said that Alice wanted to see me. She was holding the bowl, and sitting on the stairs. This is what she was holding.

 She said she did not know how to answer. She was not expecting a marriage proposal. We talked for a while, and later everyone went to bed. That night, she had her own reassuring spiritual experience that allowed her to answer me the next day. Three months later we were married.

And now it has been over 43 years, with 6 children, and 13 grandchildren. We love each other more today than when we were first married. And we look forward to the rest of our lives together, and beyond. I have found the scripture to be true: “It is not good that the man (or a woman) should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It is much better to have a companion to share life with.

 These are some of my life lessons I referred to often as we raised our family and as I worked in my career. It has been a privilege to be one of your teachers. Teaching at a Church college had been a dream of mine for many years. For a long time, I did not know if the Lord would give me such an opportunity. So, for me, teaching here at Ensign College has literally been a dream come true. Every day with my students I have the opportunity to show and share my testimony of Jesus Christ and His Restored Church. Every day I get the chance to learn and do more. And now, as you know, I will soon be retiring, and going on a mission. I will have more time to ponder on all the lessons I have learned and that the Lord has given me. I hope you will take time to ponder on the life lessons the Lord gives you. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

About the Speaker

Brett Miller

Brett Miller grew up in Portland and Central Oregon and served a full-time mission in Rome, Italy. He then attended Brigham Young University, where he studied Business Management and met and married Alice Knighton. After obtaining his bachelor degree, Brother Miller then worked for 10 years in the Banking industry in retail bank branches and mortgage lending. He began teaching early-morning seminary and was hired to be a full-time teacher and assigned to Rexburg, Idaho. From there he has been a teacher and coordinator of Seminary and Institute of Religion classes in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Utah, Minnesota, and finally here at Ensign College. In all he has been a teacher for 31 years.

He has served in the Church as a full-time missionary, teacher, Sunday School and Young Men President, Bishopric Counselor, and is currently serving on his Stake High Council. Brother Miller has a Bachelor degree in Business from BYU, a Masters degree in Education Administration from Idaho State University, and a PhD in Education Curriculum and Instruction from Utah State University. Together, Brother and Sister Miller have 6 children and 13 grandchildren who they love to go and visit when they can.
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