Wise Counsel From Mom
"Because I am a disciple of Christ, I can strive to improve each day as I exercise faith in Him and continually repent of my shortcomings. I can also help others along their covenant journey.<br/>"
Thank you, choir, for that stirring music. That particular hymn is one of my favorites. I am humbled by the invitation to share some of my thoughts with you. I absolutely love the CES tradition of gathering for devotionals and pray the spirit that you bring with you today, together with the message I have prepared, will help all of us be edified together. It is unique that three schools in the mountain region gather during the prime hour for education to sing, pray, and learn together about things for which no one will receive academic credit.
I have a friend whose son passed away when he was 20 months old. The loss was devastating for her and her family. One way she keeps his memory alive is by celebrating what their family calls his “Angel Day.” Rather than a sad anniversary, it can be a joyful day because it recognizes the role her son plays in the life of his family, who have remained on this side of the veil; Parker is their angel.
This Friday, I will celebrate my mother’s fifth Angel Day. I’m so sorry she could not be with us today—she would have loved meeting you and hearing your stories. She was an energetic cheerleader. After a very brief visit you would have felt her love, her genuine interest in you and her support for you. She was devoted to her children and a loyal friend, and she was fun to be around. Even when I was a teenager, I have no memory of wishing she would just leave me alone. Although she never finished a college degree, she was incredibly smart and, as I have grown older, I have come to learn just how wise she was. Now, she was not the flashy type, just your normal brilliant mother who did her best to raise four energetic towheads born in the span of six years. She was “mom wise.”
Please don’t assume based on what I have shared about her that my mom was perfect. She wasn’t, just like no mother is. And I wasn’t a perfect daughter either; no child is. In fact, I am ashamed to admit that there are things my mom said to me that I responded to with an eyeroll. One of those phrases I heard over and over, particularly when I was leaving to go somewhere, was, “remember who you are!” One would think I had a memory problem! I hate to admit that I heard it so frequently I didn’t really listen to what she was saying. Now that I am much older, I can see past the words she said and understand what she meant.
I know I am not the only child with a mother whose parting salutation was, “Remember who you are.” Perhaps some of your mothers said the same things to you, too[i].
That four-word phrase speaks volumes to me now. I now see that it was her way of encouraging me to keep in mind my identity, and who I represent, and to be the best version of myself.
So, who am I, exactly? My first and middle names do not signify much. I am not named for any relatives. My parents, whose names both begin with the letter “j”, gave all of their children names that begin with “j” as well. This matched the pattern of my maternal grandparents. So there are a lot of “j” names in my family. So, while the name “Julie[1],” a very common name, may mean “downy-haired” or “downy-bearded” in the masculine form, I believe the first letter had more to do with me getting that name than anything else. Now, coincidentally, I was bald at birth and well into my toddler years, so perhaps the name Julie was appropriate. But my given name will provide you with little information about who I am.
My last name is also quite common, but it does connect me to a long line of ancestors who established a foundation for me and my siblings to build on. The name Franklin comes from the term “free man” or “free landowner[2]”. This would have been important to my early ancestors, who, although not nobility, had their own property on which to raise their family and support themselves. Some of my ancestors sailed across the Atlantic Ocean on the Mayflower. Some were soldiers in the American Revolution. Those I have heard stories about were resilient, hardworking, known for being honest, and well respected. Naturally I have my fair share of scoundrels in my family history as well, but those people’s stories don’t fit in well in my talk today. So, we will pretend I did not mention them. I am confident my mother wanted me to be careful about how the choices I made would reflect the good name of my family. And yet I am also confident my mother’s reminder was not about my name.
President Nelson taught us about our true identity. He said to the Young Single Adults of the world, “First and foremost, you are a child of God. Second, as a member of the Church, you are a child of the covenant. And third, you are a disciple of Jesus Christ.”[3] He added, ‘…no identifier should displace, replace, or take priority over these three enduring designations…”[4] President Nelson shared these truths in a talk he titled, “Choices for Eternity.”I believe he was asking us to remember who we are because doing so helps us to use our agency in ways that draw us closer to our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. Said another way, focusing on our primary identities helps us accept President Nelson’s invitations to, “Think Celestial[5],” and to “Let God Prevail.[6]”
I am the only girl born to my parents. I have three awesome brothers. They’re also very fortunate to have me as a sister, but they wouldn’t say that. And as you know, I grew up in Massachusetts, which is on the east coast of the United States. When people have learned these two facts about me, I have frequently heard, “That explains a lot.” These two things are important parts of what makes me, me. Naturally, there are dozens of other ways I am distinct. However, none of these elements of my identity give me the perspective I need to make righteous choices. Remembering I am a “child of God, child of the covenant and disciple of Jesus Christ” does influence my choices.
When we see ourselves as God’s literal offspring it opens us up to feel the whole heart, soul, and mind[7] love He has for us. It helps us to want to live in such a way that we can be with Him and like Him. We are less likely to get derailed by the inevitable challenges associated with mortality. When we understand we are His children we recognize how He wants only what is best for us and we learn to trust Him and allow His will to take precedence over our own.
In addition to the name my parents gave me, at eight years of age, I chose to be baptized. By doing so, I expressed a willingness to take the name of Christ upon me.[8]Each week, I partake of the sacrament, I again witness to God the Eternal Father that I am willing to take upon myself Jesus’ name[9]. Have you ever thought much about what that means? I have thought about it a bit, but more so since I began to write this talk!
The name Yeshua was given to Christ when he was eight days old. He would have been known as Yeshua, son of Yosef, or Yeshua of Nazareth. Yeshua was not an uncommon name in the same way the anglicized form of that name, “Joshua,” is not uncommon today.[10]We use the Greek form of his name, Jesus. There is nothing distinctive about the combination of letters that form the name of Jesus. And yet, it is to that name that we sing, “All hail[11].” It is of that name that our Prophets, Seers, and Revelators are “special witnesses.”[12]King Benjamin preached “there is no other name nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent.”[13]
When I began looking for references to the phrase “name of Jesus Christ” I found them in the New Testament, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. Especially in the New Testament, originally written in Greek, the word frequently translated as “name” can also refer to a person’s nature, their character, or their authority.[14] Accordingly, taking upon us the name of Jesus reflects our desire to connect ourselves, through covenant, to Him, His Church, His character, and His authority.
In 1985, then Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “…our willingness to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ affirms our commitment to do all we can to be counted among those whom he will choose to stand at his right hand and be called by his name at the last day. In this sacred sense, our witness that we are willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ constitutes our declaration of candidacy for exaltation in the celestial kingdom.[15]
Not only do we express a willingness to take the name of Jesus Christ upon us, but we also use His name frequently, particularly in prayer. None of us is perfect enough to approach God the Father, even on bended knee and in humble prayer. It is only through the Atonement and name of Jesus Christ that we draw near to Him. Elder L. Edward Brown said, “When we use these sacred words, “in the name of Jesus Christ,” they are much more than a way to get out of a prayer or out of a testimony or out of a talk. We are holy ground, brothers and sisters. We are using a name most sublime, most holy, and most wonderful—the very name of the Son of God. We are now able to come unto the Father through His Beloved Son. What power and reassurance and peace come when we really pray in His name. This conclusion to the prayer, may, in many ways, be the most important part of the prayer. We can appeal to the Father through his victorious Son with confidence that our prayers will be heard. We can ask and receive. We can seek and…subsequently find the open door.”[16]
I am not sure my mother was asking me to think that deeply when she encouraged me to remember who I am, but maybe she hoped I would! As a person who wanted what was best for me, knowing that I was willing to take on the name of Christ, together with his nature and character, would fit with her desired outcome for me.
As I became an adult, my mother stopped telling me to remember who I am. Perhaps it no longer felt applicable, or perhaps she was just tired of the eyeroll. I’m not really sure. But 30 years ago, I became a mother too. You do not need me to tell you that the world you live in is somewhat different than the one I experienced when my mother was telling me to remember who I am. While I compared myself to those around me when I was your age, I was not inundated daily by images and messages on multiple platforms that, in my mind, served as evidence that I am lower than the lowest of all my friends.
If I were your age during this era, I would believe based on what I see in the people I interact with that I am not very good at most things. I could spend a lot of time listing the ways that I fail, areas I lack talent and skills, and inventory for you so my many weaknesses. In fact, I am confident I could cause you to question the truth that all have at least one, most some, and a few many spiritual gifts[17].
Now it is true that I do have talents, but they are not the kind that one could showcase at a talent show. I am an expert procrastinator. I excel at slowing any line I choose to stand in or any lane I choose to drive in—and not because I create the slow down—by virtue of the fact I pick a line or lane—it slows down. I have a knack for discovering the need to replenish something I consistently use a day or two after it stops being on sale. I forget the punchline of every joke I have ever heard, and when I walk, I am capable of tripping on nothing at all. I can think of someone who is better than me at everything. Does this sound at all familiar to you?
You can ask any of my children and they will tell you I really am that pathetic. Most days, I can know those things about myself and be okay with it. My children will also tell you that something I say that makes them roll their eyes is, “Remember who you are and remember you are enough.” I know I am enough, and I hope you know you are enough too.
As a child of God, I know I am a work in progress. He does not expect me to be anyone I am not. As Brother Bradley R. Wilcox shared, “Because He is full of truth, He sees you as you really are—flaws, weaknesses, regrets, and all. Because He is full of grace, He sees you as you really can be. He meets you where you are and helps you repent and improve, overcome and become[18].
Because I am a child of the covenant, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I have access to God’s divine power. Again, quoting Brother Wilcox, “Your covenant relationship with God and Jesus Christ is a relationship of love and trust in which you have access to the greater measure of Their grace—Their divine assistance, endowment of strength, and enabling power. That power is not just wishful thinking, a lucky charm, or self-fulfilling prophesy.It is real.”[19]
Because I am a disciple of Christ, I can strive to improve each day as I exercise faith in Him and continually repent of my shortcomings. I can also help others along their covenant journey.
Let me share a story that I hope illustrates one of the many lessons I learned about being enough. The circumstances of this story involve other people, and so I will be somewhat vague, but I hope the details I share, along with the Spirit I have prayed would attend us today will help you fill in the picture and perhaps see a situation in your own life that makes this familiar.
There was a time in the life of my family that became very difficult for a variety of reasons. The things I had prayed, worked, hoped, and yearned for my entire life were not coming to fruition. My husband and I had been prayerful about major decisions in our lives and the life of our family, and yet the outcomes we were seeing were exactly opposite of what we believed would happen for a couple who were trying to hear the voice of the Lord and let Him prevail in our lives.
I fell into despair. I looked around and saw what I felt like everyone else was having the exact outcomes we had hoped for. I questioned my ability to hear God’s voice—certainly, if He was directing me, we would see what we felt were natural consequences of our actions and our hoped for blessings.
I am not a person who sits around and so I took matters into my own hands. I reasoned we were not being blessed in the way we wanted because I was not righteous enough. Please don’t get the impression I was a bad, sinful person—I wasn’t. However, I increased my fasting, I prayed more earnestly, I diligently studied scriptures and words of living Prophets. I began attending the temple more frequently. And I was confident that all the spiritual work I was doing would compel the Lord to give me the blessings I was seeking.
Were any of the things I was doing bad? No, definitely not. My behaviors were good, and they did bear fruit, only not the kind I thought they would. Over time, God showed me that He is my Father and is in charge—my thought process and motives were a bit off. I am His child, and He desires to teach me to think more like He does, and to have pure motives. I discovered He loves His children in a way I had not previously understood. I came to understand that my heartache was not the problem—that I tried to heal my own heart, was. In His great Plan of Salvation, our loving Father knew we would experience heartache from separating ourselves from His influence because of our own actions, or the actions of others. He provided a Savior, His Beloved Son, who would take upon Himself all of our sorrows and sins. What He asks of us is to be willing to take upon us His name with all that means. I learned that as I accessed the power of the covenants I have made, my confidence in the Atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ strengthened me even when my hoped-for outcomes did not come. I learned that as one of his disciples, I was able to receive His light and reflect it as I interacted with others. I learned I was enough. The Young Women General Presidency shared, “The blessings you receive for acting with faith and confidence are incredible. You will come to know your identity and purpose in a greater and more focused perspective; you will increase your trust in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, and you will know that, with the Lord’s help, you are enough.” [20]
When we focus on our divine identity, we remember we are enough. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we compare ourselves to who our Father wants us to be. We are enough now, and our Father sees so much more we can become. Elder Neal A. Maxwell once quoted George Macdonald, who said, “God is easily pleased, but hard to satisfy.”[21]
Being a mom means you say things to your children that you know will make them cringe, things you hope will help them see themselves the way you as parents see them, and even better, the way God and Jesus Christ see them. I want you and my children to remember who you are--your divine identity, the value of respecting the legacy ancestors have given you, and the importance of representing our Savior Jesus Christ through the choices and covenants you make. I also want you to remember you are just who you need to be; you are enough. In the sacred name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
[1] https://www.behindthename.com/name/julius
[2] https://www.behindthename.com/name/franklin
[3] President Russell M. Nelson “Choices for Eternity” May 15, 2022.
[4] Nelson, “Choices for Eternity,” May 15, 2022.
[5] Nelson, “Think Celestial,” Liahona, November 2023, 117-119 .
[6] Nelson, “Let God Prevail,” Ensign, November 2020, 92-95.
[7] Matthew 2:37
[8] Doctrine & Covenants 20:37
[9] Moroni 4:3
[10]The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Bible Dictionary: Jesus, 669.
[11] The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Hymn 182 “We’ll Sing all Hail to Jesus’ Name”
[12] General Handbook 5.1.1.1 First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
[13] Mosiah 3:17
[15] Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Taking upon Us the Name of Jesus Christ,” Ensign, May 1985, 81-83.
[16] Elder L. Edward Brown, “Pray unto the Father in My Name,” Ensign, May 1997, 78-79.
[17] Moroni 10:17
[18] Bradley R. Wilcox, “O Youth of the Noble Birthright,” Liahona, November 2024, 93-95.
[19] Wilcox, “O Youth of the Noble Birthright,” Liahona, November 2024, 93-95.
[20] Young Women General Presidency, “Act in Faith,” New Era, January 2020, 11
[21] Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “Endure it Well,” Ensign, May 1990, 33-35.
[i] While not an exhaustive search, there were more than ten times in General Conference talks that included the phrase, “remember who you are,” has been used, including: Elaine S. Dalton, “ Remember Who You Are!” April 2010. President N. Eldon Tanner, “Remember Who You Are” October 1981. President Thomas S. Monson, “A Sacred Trust,” April 2016. Susan L. Warner, “Remember How Thou Has Received and Heard,” April 1996. Dean R. Burgess, “Do You Know Who You Are?,” April 2008. Bishop H. David Burton, “And That’s the Way It Is,” April 2003. Lowell D. Wood, “Come Unto Christ,” April 1993. Adrian Ochoa, “Aaronic Priesthood: Arise and Use the Power of God,” April 2012. Elder Monte J. Brough, “Search for Identity,” April 1995. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Three Sisters,” October 2017.